And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
