I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
