My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
