She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize