Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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