She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Is it penis luge time yet?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
