New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
