I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
