so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
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