She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
