never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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