Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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