Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize