Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
