so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
