dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
