Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
