was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
