I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
