addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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