I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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