She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
