Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
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Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I want her autograph on my taint
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
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I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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