So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
