In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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