Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
FUCK WHALES
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize