Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
