Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
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I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
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The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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