If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
