Are we in a gay sports bar?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
