Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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