Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
