I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
