Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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