I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize