I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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