But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
