Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
