What a fucking waste of an outfit
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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