There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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