come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
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I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
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Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
COCAINE IS GR8
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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