I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
