Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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