suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
