Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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