all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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