Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
