So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize