I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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