I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Randomize
