That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
