You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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