Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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