I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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