You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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