she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
