I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
