I cockslap morals
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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