Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
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Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
third nipple confirmed
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED