You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
