Texts From Last Night

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  (574): View more from Indiana

  some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  class

  (574): View more from Indiana

  he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson

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  (574): some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous (1-574): class (574): he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson http://tfl.nu/2w68
  Replies (46) Good night (4953) Bad night (1030)
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  (925): View more from California

  and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.

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  (925): and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know. http://tfl.nu/ctra
  Replies (21) Good night (4509) Bad night (1306)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.

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  (401): he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/e3p6
  Replies (36) Good night (1056) Bad night (5065)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...

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  (302): and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare... http://tfl.nu/t5mw
  Replies (21) Good night (574) Bad night (3728)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.

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  (843): i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job. http://tfl.nu/jeil
  Replies (56) Good night (10094) Bad night (1037)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.

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  (403): Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying. http://tfl.nu/rtdk
  Replies (42) Good night (8438) Bad night (1978)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead

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  (207): he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead http://tfl.nu/s4ov
  Replies (7) Good night (3306) Bad night (1143)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.

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  (973): as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage. http://tfl.nu/z7ah
  Replies (10) Good night (687) Bad night (2845)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.

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  (516): You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food. http://tfl.nu/5019
  Replies (20) Good night (3529) Bad night (1011)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.

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  (301): I feel like I just tasted lung cancer. http://tfl.nu/g1s0
  Replies (5) Good night (1138) Bad night (2487)
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  (631): View more from New York

  My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.

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  (631): My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did. http://tfl.nu/km7t
  Replies (3) Good night (1520) Bad night (1131)
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka

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  (+49): I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka http://tfl.nu/jrp7
  Replies (4) Good night (1747) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."

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  (970): I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend." http://tfl.nu/7i0l
  Replies (9) Good night (672) Bad night (2733)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.

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  (509): Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god. http://tfl.nu/tkyh
  Replies (8) Good night (451) Bad night (1398)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.

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  (501): Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay. http://tfl.nu/a936
  Replies (1) Good night (336) Bad night (461)

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