What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
