Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
