Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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