I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize