took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize