wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
