and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
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I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
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Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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