No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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