On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
